It's a Twister!

I've lived in Southern Ontario for almost 15 years, and know the weather pretty well. The winters are cold, icy, and wet, the summers hot, humid...and wet. The summer weather can be unpredictable, though, as some weeks are too hot to bear and others are unseasonably cool. For all the batshit craziness, though, a few things never change: July is usually the hottest month of the year, and you can always count on one psychotically scary storm in late August.

Last night we were treated to said storm.

Now, having been unemployed for the past little while, and knowing I should schedule my weeks in advance, I had been proactive and joined a book club. I rushed out to Indigo, picking up Isabelle Allende's The House of the Spirits and devouring it (not just for the book club, honestly it's a stellar book). The book club was scheduled to meet Wednesday, August 24th at 7pm to discuss the first half of the book, and I had the meetup scheduled in my phone, on my calendar, you name it. Couldn't wait to get out of the house and meet some new people.

However.

The first news flashes I saw early in the evening forecasted a "tornado", a "severe storm", and although it was beautiful last night when the reports were coming in, I knew things didn't look good. I had a flashback to August 20th, 2009, when I was working in the evening in an office (by myself) and a storm rushed in. Not just any storm -- this was the storm that ultimately changed the look of Ontario at Main Street for good, a tornado that ripped up trees, tore down power lines, and left the Police Station without a roof, among other damage. I remember being totally alone, wind and debris swirling, crashing outside, police sirens everywhere, horrendous lightning, thunder, and rain.

So, in anticipation of August 20th, 2009 Part II, I decided to forgo my book club meeting. Bah!!

But I'm glad I did. I camped out with my parents and Charlie in the basement for hours last night, listening to the havoc outside. Around 9:30pm I was genuinely afraid, due to a tornado warning for Milton. Thank goodness it missed us!

Thoughts at Summer's End

What a ride these past four months have been. A few nights ago, while walking past an open window in my kitchen, I noted that the breeze blowing in was no longer a warm, humid one, but rather a stiff, cool one. It's the end of summer. The nights are cooler, the kids are gearing up for going back to school, and I am left with a multitude of thoughts and reflections. I'm going to share them with you here -- in no order.

-- I am always going to trust my gut. That little voice in my head, in my stomach, the one that starts off quietly and gets progressively louder and louder until I can't hear anything else. It's like a guardian angel telling me what to do, and you'd better believe the next time it whispers I am going to stand up and take notice immediately.

-- Doing something brave and terrifying and then going about life as normal afterward is possible. It's not only possible, but life is actually better after doing the incredibly difficult thing. Somewhere inside myself I'm looking at myself out the corner of my eye thinking...holy shit...I can't believe I did something so good for myself....wow...didn't even know I was capable of it.

-- To quote the Mamas and Papas, "the darkest hour is just before dawn". The toughest moments this summer were even tougher when I woke up around 4/5AM and they rushed to the forefront of my mind in the darkness of my bedroom. That's why I am going to shamelessly plug Sleep Eze...thank you.

-- I remember being so incredibly excited to ask four special women to be my bridesmaids but I could not have imagined that, instead of standing by me at the altar in December, they actually surrounded me like a protective circle and stayed there. I mean, I knew I'd made the right choice by choosing them, but they completely overwhelmed me with their support and love, providing me with four sturdy strong rocks upon which I leaned. I look forward to (hopefully) one day having them stand by me as I get married, but mostly I hope that I can be as amazing a friend to them as they are to me.

-- Of course I have to recognize the people in my life who encouraged and supported me with phone calls, coffee/lunch dates, glasses of merlot, and beautiful words. Including my relatives who had not one, but two wedding showers planned for me. I am a lucky girl.

-- My parents are the smartest people in the world. They know everything and they know all about me. How do they do it!?!

-- Dogs take it personally when you cry in front of them. Charlie always runs over, tail between his legs, and nudges his head under my arm. It's as if to say, "stop being silly!". On that note, happiness really is a warm animal.

-- I think I deserve a Customer Appreciation Credit Card at Wendy's for regular consumption of their Baja Salad. Have you tried this?! Lettuce, tomato, two healthy scoops of guacamole, nacho chips, cheese, and a whole cup of chili to put in the salad. Too, too good. Eaten a lot over the past few months. Om nom nom.

So, as this summer draws to a close, I breathe a sigh of relief. A new start ahead. I am spending the weekend en francais a la Montreal avec mes cousins, and then hopefully finding employment soon....hopefully...

This Week

Some things that have made me happy this week, in no particular order:

+ Taking good care of myself -- eating (sometimes I forget meals but for the most part I've been good), cleansing/toning/moisturizing, drinking lots of water, going for a spa treatment when the mood strikes

+ Listening to music I loved in the '90's and still knowing every word all these years later

+ Texts and calls from the people I am lucky enough to have in my life, just to see how I'm doing

+ Vanilla lattes from Starbucks. Never fails.

+ Waking up each day feeling a little bit better than the last.

+ A dream I had last night, the first positive dream in a week, where an older woman with white hair announced to me, and a group of people, that "Victoria is going to be JUST FINE...she's going to do so well! I know she is!"

+ Snuggling with my Charlie. The dog.

Beginnings

In light of all the things that have happened in the past, I guess...6 months...I've decided to start a fresh blog to keep up with them. One that reflects the fact that I am able to start a new chapter of my life -- several chapters, probably. This won't be a linear blog, nor will it be one that flows. It's just my thoughts, things that make me happy, things that make me laugh, what I think of various makeup products, and what I'm up to.